I had a bad first date. I don’t mean bad like I kidnapped her and tried to find the location of the last Jedi by probing her mind with the force, not that bad, but still, bad.
I wasn’t feeling well. I was getting a cold, and because of getting sick, hadn’t slept all night. I tried having some coffee, a Red Bull, some blue milk, but none of it helped. I didn’t want to cancel though because I was just too excited to go out with her.
Long story short, I must have come off as rude and distant and boring, not my usual brooding, tantrum-throwing self, because I was having trouble thinking straight. Should I connect minds with her via the force and explain? Should I kidnap her and explain? What do I do???
These are the types of tiny intricacies in our lives that will plague your mind, and drive even the purest Jedi toward the dark side. It is difficult to undo a first impression, but look at it this way: the first impression was not destroying her home world with the Death Star, so you’re already ahead of the game.
Patience, once again, is the name of the game. Give it time. Contact her in about a week, and let her know you weren’t feeling well. If she doesn’t answer, well, see your first question about ghosting. If she does answer, but makes up an excuse not to get together, that’s probably indicative of not wanting to spend time together.
If she answers and wants to get together, great! Go out again. Be sure you are well rested and feeling 100% though. You wouldn’t want to confirm her doubts put in place by a flawed first impression. Imagine if you destroyed her home world with the Death Star, then after she helped destroy the Death Star and established a new home on a new world, you built a new Death Star just to destroy that new home world; that would not work in your favor.
And, just some advice for the next date - if your lightsaber comes out, you’ve done something wrong. If you find yourself force choking her, you’ve done something wrong. If at any point you are wearing that mask, you are doing it wrong.
Hope this is helpful. Please follow up and let everyone know how it went.
And to all the loyal readers, this is two in a row from Ben, let’s get some more life questions from other fans!
All the best
Ask A Jedi