The Androidgenous Offspring

Star Date 43657.0

Alright, Log, I’m gonna be straight with you. I’ve seen some weird stuff on this ship. Like, Andorian weird. And until today, I thought the scariest thing ever was the Ferengi, and then, as it turns out, Lt. Commander Data made another android and was parading it around the lower decks fully naked, and it looks like this:

theoffspring049.jpg

This is the stuff of nightmares. Its voice sounds like a speech synthesis program was run over by a shuttlecraft. Its skin smells like burnt plasma. And it’s lumpy.

Ensign’s Log Supplemental:

Good news. The Muppet from Hell finally got a makeover. Her name is Lal now and she looks like this:

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Which I gotta say, not bad. She’s pretty cute, you know, if a heuristic learning system with a positronic brain and the brute strength of ten people is your thing.

(Also, don’t tell anybody I took these pictures. I know it’s creepy, but so is the android.)

She was serving drinks in Ten Forward earlier too. I assume this was to make her more social and help her become part of the crew. Makes sense, because just like practically half the ship, she also made out with Commander Riker at the bar.

 

 

Oh shit. I just heard Admiral Haftel is onboard and I have to get back to my post before anyone notices the dilithium crystals haven’t been rotated in like four days.


Ensign’s Log Supplemental Supplemental:

 

 

 

 

Lal’s been permanently deactivated. I can’t really say I’m sad, because it’s still a bot and we can reboot her. Or we could not, that’s fine too.

 

 

One thing someone did mention was that Data transferred her memories to his brain before she died. So at least in that way she’s still with us, and Data has a vivid memory of tonsil hockey with the first officer. So it all worked out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grant Mulitz