Sarek Sucks

Star Date 43917.4

The enterprise has been given the singular honor of hosting the first meeting between the federation and a mysterious race known as the Legarans. We are in orbit around Vulcan preparing to welcome aboard federation ambassador Sarek, a boring old man past his prime.

Sure, we all studied Sarek’s diplomatic career at the academy. The treaty of Alpha-Signus 9, the Klingon alliance. Snoozeville. I don’t know a single cadet who could stand his lectures on interstellar politics. Oh actually I used to text during his lectures and he confiscated my communicator, I wonder if he still has it?

Commander LaForge is having us in engineering build a slime pit for the Legarans. Apparently they sit in this weird nutrient broth while they do business. Weird customs. But it wasn’t too hard to make, we just got a whole lot of chicken soup out of the replicator and used it to fill the captain’s hot tub.

Yeah, the captain has a hot tub. It’s the Enterprise.


Ensign’s Log Supplemental

They just had a Mozart recital on the upper decks. Yeah, I went, but not because I like classical music. Ensign Suzanne Dumont was supposed to go with me, but had to bail, but I still had the tickets, so you know.

But it was really bad anyways. So bad it made Sarek cry! Data was supposed to be the first chair violin, but I think instead of actually playing it looked like he just moved the bow around and synthesized the music with his voice box. It didn’t look like he knew how to play at all!

Wait a minute, Sarek’s a Vulcan. He’s not supposed to cry at things? Haha maybe his old Vulcan butt has Bendii syndrome, a disorder found in elderly Vulcans that causes them to lose control of their emotions and telepathically broadcast anger and sadness to other life forms close by. Hahaha, that’d be rich.

WAIT A MINUTE. SUZANNE DUMONT WASN’T AT THE RECITAL???? WHY WOULD SHE DITCH ME LIKE THAT! IS IT BECAUSE I’M UGLY?? I DON’T WANT TO BE ON THIS SHIP IF WE CAN’T BE TOGETHER

That was weird.

I WANT TO KILL WESLEY CRUSHER AND I WANT HIM TO LOOK AT ME WHILE I’M DOING IT.

Huh.

THERE’S A FIGHT IN 10 FORWARD AND I AM GOING TO WIN

 



Ensign’s Log Supplemental Supplemental

I got my ass whooped in 10 Forward.

Grant Mulitz