Cause And Effect And Cause And Effect And Cause And Effect

 

Star Date 45652.1

The enterprise has entered an area of space known as the Typhon expanse. We are the first Starfleet vessel to chart this unexplored region. Funny how it’s taken us this long to actually go where no one’s gone before, seeing as that’s our whole thing.

Commander LaForge almost fell off a catwalk today! Straight into the warp core. Dude just collapsed. That’s actually kind of weird that that can even happen. Don’t we, like, control the direction of gravity on this ship?

Hey what the fuck was that? I just heard someone in my quarters, but maybe it was coming from the ventilation? I’m trying to sleep, assholes.

Well we’re at red alert now, and there’s something outside my window. Can’t I get any rest? Actually it looks like a rift in space-time, so I guess it’s serious. Those things cause temporal-causality loops and if we’re not careful we could OH GOD THE STARBOARD WARP NACELLE EXPLODED WHAT THE FU–


Star Date 45652.1

The enterprise has entered an area of space known as the Typhon expanse. We are the first Starfleet vessel to chart this unexplored region. Funny how it’s taken us this long to actually go where no one’s gone before, seeing as that’s our whole thing. I think that joke has been made before somewhere, probably on the internet. Man it’s hard to stay original these days.

Commander LaForge almost fell off a catwalk today! Straight into the warp core. Dude just collapsed. That’s actually kind of weird that that can even happen. Don’t we, like, control the direction of gravity on this ship? Commander LaForge has almost fallen into the warp core like ten times, at least I’m pretty sure?

Hey what the fuck was that? I just heard someone in my quarters, but maybe it was coming from the ventilation? I’m trying to sleep, assholes.

Well we’re at red alert now, and there’s something outside my window. Can’t I get any rest? Actually it looks like a rift in space-time, so I guess it’s serious. Those things cause temporal-causality loops and if we’re not careful we could OH GOD THE STARBOARD WARP NACELLE EXPLODED WHAT THE FU–


Star Date 45652.1

The enterprise has entered an area of space known as the Typhon expanse. We are the first Starfleet vessel to chart this unexplored region. Funny how it’s taken us this long to actually go where no one’s gone before, seeing as that’s our whole thing. Man, I’ve made that joke before. I'm starting to repeat my own material.

Commander LaForge almost fell off a catwalk today! Straight into the warp core. Dude just collapsed. That’s actually kind of weird that that keeps happening. We control the direction of gravity on this ship, and feels like Commander LaForge has almost fallen into the warp core like fifty times, at least I’m pretty sure?

Hey what the fuck was that? I just heard someone in my quarters again. Am I going nuts or does this happen every night? I’m trying to sleep, assholes.

Well we’re at red alert now, and there’s something outside my window. It’s a space time distortion, I can tell without even looking. Those things cause temporal-causality loops and you know what that’s what’s happening isn’t it OH GOD THE STARBOARD WARP NACELLE EXPLODED WHAT THE FU–actually this sort of reminds me of that movie Groundhog Day.


Star Date 45652.1

The enterprise has entered an area of space known as the Typhon expanse. We are the first Starfleet vessel to chart this unexplored region. Except, we’ve already charted it. Nothing special.

Commander LaForge almost fell off a catwalk for what I think is the five hundredth time! Straight into the warp core. We control gravity on this ship and no one gives a fuck anymore.

I keep hearing voices and I’m going to pretend I have syphilis because that’s probably more palatable than whatever’s really going on.

Well we’re at red alert now, and there’s something outside my window. It’s a space time distortion, I can tell without even looking. Those things cause temporal-causality loops and you know what that’s what’s happening isn’t it. Everyone has deja vu, and actually this sort of reminds me of that movie Groundhog Day. With Bill Murray. This is from like four hundred years ago but it still holds up.

OH GOD A SHIP ALMOST HIT THE STARBOARD WARP NACELLE. Close one. Anyways, I’m going to sick bay to get checked for syphilis.

 

 
Grant Mulitz