Balancing Your New Year Budget


As many of you know, math can be a very difficult subject for a great number of people. Yet it doesn’t need to be. Mad Math is a monthly article which will help you with mathematical problems you may encounter.

This month we’ll be discussing budgeting!

So the new year started and you made a few resolutions. We’d bet 50% of you mentioned your budget in your resolution. As we’re nearing the halfway mark to February it means most of you are staying strong in your resolutions while the rest of you have given up entirely.

Don’t sweat, we get it! Budgeting can be hard, but it doesn’t have to be! We’re here to say DON’T GET DISCOURAGED! We have some easy tricks to show you using the simple Tesseractian Constant, or TC for short!

What’s that, you may ask? Well don’t. Nobody knows. It’s a numerical constant from an alternate dimension that gives you prophetic visions of the future. Just slip it into your earnings and voila! You’re done!

Let’s examine the following budget, you’ll notice I put known payments as negatives and known incomes as positives:


Many people mention the 20/30/50 split.

20% to savings or debts, 30% to lifestyle (nights out, lab equipment, etc.), 50% to essentials (food, rent, etc.).

So let’s organize our money by these categories


Then we can calculate if our budget is on track and adjust accordingly! It’s okay if your 20/30/50 split isn’t perfect. It rarely will be. It just means less disposable income or savings. Often times both.


If the split is really bothering you, you can spend less on lifestyle, move to a location with less rent, maybe change your phone plan. The options are endless. IN FACT! WE CAN BENEFIT WITH THE UNLIMITED POWER OF THE TESSERACTIAN CONSTANT!!!


Step 1: Just slip the constant into your income section!


Step 2: Chant

Chant the most depraved thoughts in your mind for around 13 seconds. One that works for me personally is chanting about my deepest desire to hurt other living beings. Something such as “Take what is yours, take their life, they are yours.” usually does the trick for me.

Step 3: Prophet (Get it?)

Now just let the visions take you and feel the deep euphoria of the TC.

When you wake up, you budget will benefit from previously untapped funds!


The full work...


DISCLAIMER: Don’t engage in this simple trick if enjoy a clean police record or value human life! You don’t want to “ruin your career” by turning to the dark arts! 


Remember the damage you do is permanent.


I hope you enjoyed this month’s Mad Math! Happy Solving!


Forever Watching,



Madmatician grew up under the constant watch of the Tesseract. He was blessed with powers beyond the average human such as a superhuman mind, no need for human emotion, and advanced gaslighting skills. He lives happily in his lair with his cerberus, Cornelias, and a literal Wall Street wolf pack.


Jacob Duffy Halbleib