The Night Before Deathmus


’Twas the night before Deathmus, when all through the house

Not a creature was breathing, not even a mouse;

The stomachs were hung by the chimney with care,

Warning all newcomers they had better beware.

The horror was nestled in corpses all snug;

While the remains of their organs wrestled with bugs;

And with me in my cage, fearing for my life,

I resolved to the reality of this terrible strife.

When down in the basement arose such a clatter,

The beast awoke from his sleep to see what was the matter.

Away to its staircase it flew with a flash,

Broke open the doorway in one simple slash.

The house was again as quiet as the snow,

I awaited to hear anything coming from below,

When what to my wondering ears did appear,

But a cacophony of sound and a wreck down there,

A shrill cold voice echoed so lively with wrath,

I knew in a moment it must be Mad Math.

More rapid than eagles was the fight that ensued,

He whistled, and shouted, as the brawl continued:

"Now, slash them! now, bash them! or cook and eat them all!

For research! for knowledge! for science and power!

To the top of the stairs! to the top of the tower!

Now slash away! slash away! slash away all!"

So up to the first floor the nanobots flew

With the tub full of tools, and the Madmatician too—

As I shielded my head, and was turning around,

Up to my cage Madmatician came in with a bound.

He was dressed in a labcoat, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

He held a strange cube in the palm of his hand,

He looked quite scary; I wondered what he had planned.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how eerie!

His cheeks were concave, his disposition made me weary!

His crooked little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the scars on his chin were as white as the snow;

The stump of a pencil was held tight in his teeth,

And a heap of smoke came from a beaker beneath;

He was boney and slump, a right off-putting old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had much to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And compiled the organs; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, suddenly my body froze;

The nanobots had me so tight in their grasp,

My very last vision, the man was starting to laugh.

As he approached me I heard him exclaim—

“Happy Deathmus to all, and may all be slain!”


The Madmatician grew up under the constant watch of the Tesseract. He was blessed with powers beyond the average human such as a superhuman mind, no need for human emotion, and an understanding that all effort is useless. He lives happily in his lair with his cerberus, Cornelias, and an overwhelming sense of self-preservation as proven by his many clones.