Time

 
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As many of you know, math can be a very difficult subject for a great number of people. Yet it doesn’t need to be. Mad Math is a monthly article which will help you with all the mathematical problems you may encounter.

 

This month we’ll be discussing time conversions.

 

I’m sure plenty of you need to do some quick mental math, timezone conversions, and even convert between hours and minutes. Considering the pace of modern society, you may find yourself overwhelmed by sheer volume of time calculations, pathetic mortal.

 

Fret no further! Here are some sweet and simple solutions to get you back on track!

Convert hours to minutes: 60h = m

For example, 1 hour would be 60 minutes and 3 hours would be 180 minutes. Easy!

Convert minutes to hours: m/60 = h

For example, 40 minutes would be .666 hours and 374 minutes would be 6.233 hours. Peasy!

Adding times together... this one can be tough to follow, but I know you can do it!

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Finding duration (subtraction):

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Here are some excellent time zone conversion tools:

FIO (Figure it Out) - Excellent if you need to convert between a handful of timezones to constantly co-ordinate a team.

World Time Buddy - Excellent if you need to convert between random time zones, every now and again.

 

There you have it, now you don’t have to be the idiot in your group! However, if you really want to be a master of time we can unleash true power!

 

How do we attain this "true power" you may ask?

Well you’re an entitled little simpleton, aren’t you?!

The Tesseractian Constant can help you with that, we call it TC for short! What’s that, you may ask? Well don’t. Nobody truly knows. It’s a sort of numerical constant from an alternate dimension that gives you prophetic visions of the future and powers unknown.

 

Step 1: Get a simple analog clock.

 

Step 2: Break it open and use the glass to cut your forearm. Use your blood to draw the TC on the clock face.

 

Step 3: Chant

Chant about how you are the master of all time for around 13 seconds. One that works for me personally is chanting a something like “I OWN MY TIME AND ALL TIME” The key is finding the megalomaniacal mantra that works for you.

 

Step 4: Prophet (Get it?)

Now just let the visions take you and feel the deep euphoria of the TC. When you wake up, you’ll find all the friends you’ll need inside your freshly made pie!

Apologies that there are no images of the TC process this week, I seem to have lost my camera phone in one of my time warps!

DISCLAIMER: Don’t engage in this simple trick if are not a fan of chrono-dysplasia.

Remember the damage you do is permanent.

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Mad Math! Happy Solving!

I’m timing you,

-Madmatician

Madmatician grew up under the constant watch of the Tesseract. He was blessed with powers beyond the average human such as a superhuman mind, no need for human emotion, and a taste for human flesh. He lives happily in his lair with his cerberus, Cornelias, and 1.5 million blood-clocks.

 

 
Jacob Duffy Halbleib