Turn Those "Bummers" into "Yummers"!
My warmest salutations to all you Ice Pirates, Space pirates (NOT YOU HARLOCK…YOU LEFT BEFORE DESERT…BAD IDEA…), and Imperial Intergalactic Merchant Mariners alike!
Are ya sick of scooting and shooting through asteroid fields?
Grown weary of wormholes?
Tired of the endless planning for event horizons?
Sure, the buggery and humdrum-ery of a sailor’s life can be rough, especially during The Pyramidal Nepsis, when most G.A. Citizens are with family and loved ones.
It saddened me* to learn how most of your pathetic cryo-sleep tubes spread genital-itch like a swarm of Blood-Locusts™. And quite frankly, the last time I devoured the inhabitants of a space vessel it smelled like a slaughterhouse within. And that was before I thrashed open (AND FEASTED UPON) the small skulls of the orphans aboard. Wheeew 🤢! Uh...Hello... Febreze anyone?!? 🤣
Despair not, my “would-be livestock”, there are a few among The Ancient Ones who are loathe to see how pithy and meaningless your aeons are.....
Well hot dogetty-ding-dang-doodle....that’s why today’s Galactic Table Talk is dedicated to showing you how to turn some of those “Bummers” into “Yummers”!!!...Permission to YUM aboard?!? 🤪 (lol, I have to stop!….my daughter says I should try stand up)
- Murder, Victory, nothing less…
- last one living/reading this...devours all.
You Will Need:
- Entrails of your shipmates
Do not cook, eat soft belly flesh and organs from your murdered companions, one by one. Make the others watch (fear makes the blood more “copper-y”). Take your time. AND GET READY TO SET SAILS for PLANET NOM NOM NOM!!!!
That’s all for this week! I love you, don’t ever sleep!!!!💋
*JK, I am unhindered by remorse or pity. I feel nothing but pain, rage, hunger, the ecstasy of murder, and the joy of spreading love through cooking for members of the aristocracy ranking higher than my own standing ☺️